Moving

First off, let me share a little chart with you that I put together:

	PLACES	LENGTH	WITH
	Todd Dr.	June ‘03-Aug ’03	dad, his girlfriend
	Friley Dorm	Aug ’03 - May ’04	Britni
	Todd Dr. (again)	May ’04 - Nov ’04	dad, his girlfriend
	Sterling University (now University West)	Nov ’04 - May ’06	Jenn, Staci, Abbey, Ashlyn, Katie
	Fountain View Apartments	May ’06 - July ’07	Christi, Sarah
	826 Dickinson	Aug ’07 - July '08	Natalie, Emily, Melissa
	Meg’s Bedroom	Aug ’08	Meg, and her roommates
	Walnut Place (The couch at my friends apt)	Aug ’08 - Sept ’08	Carley, Dani, Katie, Keri
	Sand Cherry Lane	Oct ’08 - May ’09	Joy, Scott, Joe, Sam, Naomi, Josh
	E. 7th St.	May ’09 - May ’10	Debra, Brian
	North Dakota (Creek Blvd.)	June ’10 - July ’10	Tracy, Samantha, Angie
	????	????	????
TOTAL	12	7 years	33

If you can't look at that chart and think to yourself, "HOLY COW" "DANG GIRL!!!" "ARE YOU SICK OF MOVING?!?" then you probably need to glance back up look at the dates and the totals I put at the bottom for those that just want to glance quick.

12 places in 7 years. 33 roommates. To say the least, I've learned a lot about me in that time. Whom I'm compatible with. The characteristics I like about myself, and those that I'd like to work on. The qualities I hope to find in a guy that I might marry someday if the Lord has that in my path.

This last week it finally became overwhelming. I hit the wall that I've learned many would have hit a long time ago. Somewhere a long the trail of life in 7 years I acquired much of what is needed to fill a small house. So each time, I GET to pack it all up, and haul it off to the next place. Some of the places I've lived (more towards the past 2 years) I knew it was short term, so prior to moving I had to pack with the mind of "Will I need this in the next ______?" and put it in the container that fit its new description.

One thing is for sure that I've learned to TRUST in God through this because He's clearly had His hand in all of it and I know it does me no good to worry. Zero. NADA. Well like a few other things, 'worldness' (my word for societal norms if you will) creeps in. This comes by way of being asked by every other person, "so where are you living now?" and any variation of it. Once enough people ask you about something, or at least me, it makes me think more on the subject. SO there I admit, I started to doubt, be frustrated with all this moving, wanting a 'settled' life whatever that looked like, have permanence, a desire to actually unpack EVERYTHING. So on Thursday before work I finally lost it. cried like a baby. after my roommate left for work. yep and PRIDEFUL, thank you.

I keep wondering should I just sell it all? Or at least some of it? But then I'll be irritated in ___ years when this is changed and I could use the couch that I bought, sold for a fraction of the price, and now have to buy new. I don't enjoy realizing "oh hey I need ______. Now is that at Moms? Dad's? Storage in Union? With me and I can't find it? or in my trunk???" Yes I get to run through 5 places before I chalk whatever it is on the list of Lost items from all the moving.

I wish this is what moving looked like:

Well I can promise you that I've learned A LOT about patience, and being in the world but not of it. (Disclaimer, it is not advised to move from your lush *I don't care where you live in America, it is lush* apartment less than 36 hours back from a 3rd world country) I don't know what is in store, in 2 weeks for me. I know it will be fine. Worst case scenario, I wisely have stored my tent, sleeping bag, and camping gear in my trunk, so it just might be camping season ;)

Fat and Sassy, Mean and Nasty

The statement you will hear my grandma make if you spend any time talking or listening to her. It truly sums up the past 3 weeks of my life.

February 24th my dad, his girlfriend Jamie, my sister, and I headed out to Sun City, Arizona to visit my grandparents who winter there. We arrived late Thursday night, exhausted after a 26 hour drive. Friday morning I was the first to awake from our crew to be greeted by my grandparents. I LOVE THEM. (I know every kid would say this about their grandparents, but seriously. They both played a strong roll in my life growing up with many great memories. Our family has always been incredibly close, still getting together on the major holidays and having 25+ people at their house) It was so great to see them considering they'd been gone since the beginning of December. The rest of Friday was spent just hanging out and resting from the journey.

Saturday morning my dad and his girlfriend left to go visit one of her relatives. They would come back early afternoon and the 6 of us would go site see.....or so we planned. God's plan was different.....

I can't explain how, other than the Holy Spirit inside of me, but I was on high alert of something 'unplanned' happening while we were there. I was blow drying my hair when I thought I heard something. I turned it off to hear my grandma saying "Gary.........Gary....." It sounded faint, but I thought that was because she was in the opposite side of the house. I went to check out what was going on to see that my grandma was no where near my sound asleep grandfather. I immediately turned back around the way I had come and took a turn into their bedroom. Where much to my surprise I found my grandma laying on the bed heaving for air. "Grandma I'm here, I love you" was out of my mouth before I could fully comprehend the moment. I got my grandpa up and convinced them both that we needed to go to the hospital. I phoned my dad to give him the heads up and we headed out. (Wish I had a picture of this event with my sister aiding in the effort straight from the shower in only a towel, but due to the circumstances.... no such documentation exists, you'll just have to trust me!)

I knew the situation was serious. But no part of me ever thought 'I should call 911.' We arrived in the ER of Banner Health Hospital, where they took one look at her and we were nearly whisked off to a room, arriving there along side 6 nurses who began to poke needles in all kinds of places and ask me lots of questions. 'Wait, hold on. I'm on vacation. This isn't supposed to be happening. I have no idea what you just said. Can you repeat that. I'm gonna have to make a phone call for that answer' is all floating through my thoughts.

My Aunt Kathy used to be an RN, and out of our entire family she is the most capable of listing off all of grandmas medical history without referring to paperwork. I called her. I didn't want to, simply because I knew she'd be worried about the urgent need, but I knew she was my best option. Then I called dad and said I was sorry but I thought they should head back, and pick up my sister at home alone.

The day unfolded in a whirlwind of emotions, tests for her to undergo, and lots of just sitting by her side stroking her hair, and holding her hand. By evening we had discovered she'd thrown 2 blood clots to the lungs, had a urinary track infection that they suspected went septic (into her blood), and her heart was in arterial fibulation. That sounds like a lot for someone like me to overcome, let alone my tired and now very weak grandma.

We let dad's sisters know and although they were sad to not be there to see her and be with her, none of them made plans to head down. Sunday evening, into Monday morning, things to an immediate turn for the worse and with the grave outlook at that time, all my aunts booked flights and flew in.

We spent the remainder of that week in AZ; 9 people in a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom house, and 2 cars for commuting....its a good thing we're close :) ; and by Friday it was decided to air ambulance her back to Ames, IA Mary Greeley Medical Center. So her and 5 of us got on flights, while the other 4 hung back, closed down the house and drove the 2 cars back. PRAISE GOD we all arrived without any glitches to the system.

I sit here in the hospital room watching her rest as we come upon her 4 week mark of hospitalization. I had to check the calendar as I typed that to double check the accuracy of the statement! These weeks and days have been filled with many highs and lows as one can only imagine.

I've learned much in these weeks, and I know that I'm not fully aware of all that I'm being taught!

1. I do desire to get married. Somedays that desire is more prevalent than others. Watching my grandpa care for my grandma, check all of her monitors, watch over her, caress her hand, kiss her, and check all of her monitors again to make sure he didn't disturb anything, BLOWS me away. They've been married going on 57, and while I'm fully aware that marriage isn't always a walk in the park, they have fought through it all, and there love for each other is evident! Talk about bringing truth to the 'in sickness and in health' vows.

There love has encouraged me to think not only about a marriage relationship, but showing love and my care for those around me always without fear over guarding of my heart.

2. My grandma is definitely where I get my stubbornness! She is full of it :) Having some is definitely not a bad thing, I'm confident its a lot of what has pulled her through this whole fight. Every time you ask her how she's doing "fat and sassy, mean and nasty" comes out.

3. Family and friends are vital. God gave us a need for community. It broke my heart when we were at Banner Health when the nurses would cry simply at the fact that there were the 5 of us there for my grandma, and when we told them my aunts were flying in they broke down again. A few of them told us that often people are left there to fight their battles alone. I watched as nearly everyone of her nurses broke to rules of visitors in my grandma's room at a time. I watched as the nurses came back on shift from their day off, and although my grandma wasn't their patient again, they made it down to see her and us 'to check in'. I know for a fact that I saw each one of them cry, and I'm pretty sure I hugged each of them too. People matter.

I don't even know the extent of all the people that know about the happenings in the Maxwell family lately . But I do know that prayers are being lifted up, and answered!

my favorite picture from the trip, that without the hospitalization.... would not have been captured. Thank you God for allowing me to see Your Love through this.

She's awake. Says its time to watch the news :)

Timing

God's timing usually makes me smile when I finally see/understand even a small portion of what is going on......... But occasionally it makes me laugh. And that is exactly what I've done for the past couple of hours.

Working in a coffee shop, seeing many faces, some of which are regulars and some I've never seen before. I love knowing that God uses moments and conversations in their lives far more than I can fathom. Every once in awhile He allows me to see a small part of how He might be using it and it brings me great JOY.

Two weeks ago I worked Saturday night. I was starting to feel tired with 2 hours left in my shift when this couple walked in. Something about them drew me into conversation with them. I'm pretty sure it began with me asking about their tattoos (I love tattoos. And I also know they always have a story...) Long story short, they are christians, she's not from here and doesn't know a bunch of people, and aren't currently attending a church. So I invited them to the Church I'm a part of Cornerstone, gave her my name and number and told her I'd love to take them anytime. She added me to facebook a few days later :) I'm excited to get to know them, they are into art too!

Tonight, also a Saturday......I worked again. I'll spare the details....maybe someday the readers of this blog will get to hear them..... In short it was a God moment that totally made me laugh on the inside for the rest of the night. I could just imagine God smiling and enjoying His humor!

I guess in short....I should be willing to work more Saturday nights....

Fight Like a girl!

Around Father's Day this past June, My dad's sister Kathy found out she had Uteran Cancer. It was very early stage, and they did surgery mid July. This was very hard for my family especially considering my grandparents are yet to have had cancer themselves, but had to watch their daughter have it. She had the BEST attitude about it. Sh

e remade upbeat before and after surgery becoming a great testimony to all of our family. 

Healing took a little longer than expected, but she started chemo just over a month ago. She knew her hair would fall out and decided that she would rather just shave it off than go through watching it coming out. So one night last week I went over and shaved her head. God is teaching me much about strength through her!

just before the fun began...

Cutting the first locks off

After cutting it all short with scissors...

Admiring my handy work :)

The minor detail I left out.....She decided that if she had to lose her hair, she was going to have fun with it. We shaved ISU into her hair, and she left it for the football game! This probably makes her the COOLEST AUNT.

The two of us after the fact. She's beautiful!

Lesson #2938465

I've always been a bit feisty. I can't exactly explain why....Maybe it has something to do with the fact that whenever my grandma is asked how she is doing her answer is "fat and sassy, mean and nasty." Ha... it's possible, I guess, however, I think a better explanation is probably that I've seen a lot of situations given up on in my life. Not to discredit any party or give blame, just in general. So because of this, I've learned a great deal about 'Learning to pick your battles' More often than not things don't bother me too much....However occasionally I get stubborn about my developed opinion and I'm not willing to sway on it. And I've learned that sometimes, it is better to keep this opinion to myself. Unfortunately this revelation often comes after I've already shared it.

Recently God provided a chance for me to shine at this, or to fall on my face. It came in the form of a conversation and someone said something that really triggered me. I instantly had at least 5 things to fire back....instead I sat there for a minute slightly shocked by the conversation.

I sat long enough to realize I had a choice. I could fire back....which would probably only begin/extend the issue. OR I could CHOOSE to see it as a blessing. A blessing in disguise for sure...but a blessing no less!!! As I sat there I began to pray for this person and the conversation. It was somewhat frustrating in the moment I wont lie. I even had to call a friend that I knew would speak wisdom and truth to me. It's been three days and I'm still thinking about it. I think the most awestrucking part is that God quite possibly allowed what was said, to be said, just so that I would pray!!